Who knew we would still be hanging in the balance here? But since we are, and since it’s on my mind at least seven out of every hour I’m awake, here are my latest ponderings.

I have heard the following: “You never gave him a chance. Right from day one he had an uphill battle.” Probably true. But I remember day one: He claimed he had millions more people in the National Mall than Obama did when he was inaugurated. Which was easily disproved with photographic evidence, which was then disputed by Spicer (remember him?) who said the photos had been doctored. We knew then, didn’t we? We were dealing with an ego-centric man-child whose bombastic lies just kept coming—all designed to make him look good, better, bigger, the best, and the biggest. And even though he did actually accomplish some things, (at least his signature is on some helpful legislation) there was little evidence to indicate he cared about anything else except his image.

He might have promised us a return of America to its original Mom and apple pie values with prayer in public schools (which would solve everything), but he misspoke. It was a promise he couldn’t keep; no one can. We’re a majority rules kind of place, and we’re moving forward (some of you would say backward, but that’s not how time works) into a brave new world with wondrous and some not so wondrous creatures in it. Change is never comfortable, but it is always inevitable. And messy. Like it or not, this country and the world will look very different in this next century/millennium than it does today or than it did during the time some of us wish they could go back to, the time that was never really the magical time they thought it was. We always remember the good stuff, that’s why the pain of giving birth is forgotten, and what we remember is the joy we felt when we held the baby.

If you’re a Trump fan, feel free to send him your hard-earned money to ‘fight the legal battles’ if you must (it’s really to pay his campaign debt), but when all the dust settles, let’s try to be friends again. Or at least civil with one another. There will be leadership that looks like something we all know—smiling faces. We’ll see photos with pets and something new—a female vice president wearing Converse sneakers. There will be music and laughter! Except for social distancing and masks, It will look almost normal. There will be decorum and respect and presidential behavior. There will be calm assurances from a democratic leader who’s there to work for everyone instead of just those who adore him. 

Let’s make a deal: On day one let’s see if he actually lies to us about something that can be verified. If he does, you have every right to take your marbles and hunker down and wait it out with a scowl on your pretty face. If he doesn’t, then give him another day. And then another. He’s only human and he can’t make everybody happy. He will not please you with some of the things he does, but know that he’s not doing it to look good or to throw his weight around; he’s doing it because he believes—for better or worse—that it will benefit the country he loves more than he loves himself. Won’t that be refreshing?

The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse are now Five. Tweeting Trump, the snake oil salesman without a moral compass, deranged, power mad, totally without regard for anyone or anything but himself and obsessed with winning—he is the fifth horseman. His method of winning involves demonizing anyone who doesn’t agree with him and disregarding any system that would embrace even a modicum of fairness and an accommodation of the other. Inciting hatred and violence. Dividing us into us the loyal soldier/peons and them the lying enemy. Pretending to be a friend of Christians while mocking them behind their backs and personally having no belief in anything but money. Disdaining anyone perceived to be weaker. “Losers and suckers.” That’s how he sees you, all you people out there with your MAGA hats on, you respectable-looking folks sporting American flag lapel pins as well as those in pickup trucks waving oversize flags, holding up signs with misspelled words, proud to be Americans because—here’s where I’m stumped. What is it about this man that makes you proud? Is it his warm and loving relationship with his family—the grifters milking tax payer’s money with made-up positions in his administration? Is it his compassionate treatment of the less fortunate among us? His determination to provide affordable health care for millions of people with pre-existing conditions during a pandemic? Is it the $142,000,000 tax payers spent so he could play golf nearly 300 times while (not) in the oval office? Is it a $70,000 tax deduction for hair care? Is it that $500 billion promised for an infrastructure fund? Oops, no action on that one. Is it that promise to appoint a special prosecutor to investigate Hillary Clinton? You must have been proud of that promise. But no, that never happened either. Because there was nothing to investigate, by the way. Is it his promise to repeal and replace Obamacare? Ahem. Is it because he took an already healthy economy, growing from the previous administration and kept it growing? Well, almost. Actually his tariffs destroyed more American manufacturing jobs than they created. Is it his promise to remove all undocumented immigrants or to eliminate gun-free zones at schools and military bases. Neither of those happened either. You must be disappointed. But not enough to re-examine your thinking. Is it all the great tax breaks he’s allowed millionaires and billionaires and corporations? Is it the wall that Mexico was supposed to pay for to keep the murdering, raping brown people out? Is it his commitment to saving the planet from man-made carbon emissions that your grandchildren have to grow up in? Is it those thirteen women who have accused him of sexual misconduct—the ones he promised to sue? He didn’t sue them, but maybe he still will someday. Is it that he is responsible for the largest reduction in the boundaries of protected land in U.S. history? Is it his sterling handling of the virus? Is it his willingness to surround himself with genuine, educated experts? Is it the qualified staff–the smart people that haven’t abandoned the ship or been fired? Is it the respect and admiration he’s garnered around the world? Is it the decisive way he handles the autocrats and dictators who have never been friends of democracy? Oh, wait, I bet it’s the way he traumatized those 597 little foreign babies by separating them from their parents at our southern border, imprisoned them, and now can’t find their families. Are you proud of your president for that? Or is it something else? For God’s sake, will you please tell me what it is? In a full sentence or several full sentences–maybe even a paragraph—anything other than a  sarcastic campaign slogan retort. I would so welcome that. If it’s because you believe he’s going to restore this nation to a God-fearing, law-abiding, tradition-honoring, some-people-should-know-their-place old-fashioned Christian nation with mom in the kitchen wearing an apron, happy to greet the kids with fresh-baked cookies when they come home from school to a house with a picket fence in a neighborhood, city, state, country where marriages are between one man and one woman who go to church on Sundays and believe it’s everyone’s job to gosh-darn-it pick themselves up by their bootstraps and make something of themselves? If so, you have drunk the Kool-Aid, my friend. American households have needed at least two people’s income for quite some time now. We are a secular nation, messy and diverse and angry as hell that your ideas of how we should behave, who we can love, and what we can do with our own bodies are being shoved down our throats. We are a democratic republic, a free nation, and to us free means free to enjoy equal treatment under the law regardless of race, religion, gender, ethnicity, or sexual orientation, free to control our own reproductive system, free to marry whomever we want to, and free to not have to read the bible or pray unless we’re in church and we want to. Free the way the founding fathers meant us to be.

Buckle up, stay safe. Pay attention to the big picture, and keep an open mind. All of us will be gone one day, as will everyone who ever knew us and everyone who knew them. But it matters that you are here and that you care. That always matters.