I try to stay away from political posts here in this space (I save it up for Facebook) because I guess I just thought this blog should be more of a ‘happy place’–not necessarily a Pollyanna place, but less stridently anti-Trump. Maybe I hoped I could wait it out and start over fresh in 2021 when the majority of the people came to their senses and realized they’d been duped by the con and he was gone for good. Every day I see more clearly that those who support the president will not go quietly into the night should he lose. Most of the time I didn’t even say ‘should he lose’, but ‘when he loses’.

Lately, however, a cold terror has gathered in my body–one that says, “You know what? He might not lose.” And, “Even if he does, he might not go.”

So, here we are in the middle of signs of the coming apocalypse. Let me re-iterate them for you: Political skirmishes on the streets of several major cities, a rise in violence and a decrease in civility, gun sales shattering records, the unchecked pandemic, mass unemployment, increased homelessness, natural disasters on every coast, intense racial and partisan polarization, lock-down-induced collective depression/panic, unraveling of our democratic process, abandonment of our democratic norms, and the acceptance of unembarrassed lies from government leaders. And that’s today.

Last week, Trump claimed that a plane “almost completely loaded with thugs” wearing “dark uniforms” had been headed to the Republican National Convention to do “big damage,” that “people that you’ve never heard of, people in the dark shadows” are controlling Joe Biden, that Democrats were trying to “destroy” suburbs with “low-income housing” that Cory Booker would be “in charge of.” He predicted that the stock market would crash if Biden won, and bold-faced lied that that Biden “didn’t even discuss law enforcement, the police. Those words weren’t mentioned.” In fact, in case you need to know, Biden held a discussion at the convention on policing, with an actual police chief.

All of those things are astoundingly, overwhelmingly deluded and scary, granted, but it’s the nuanced ‘jokes’ about not accepting the results of the election should he not prevail that cause me to scream into my pillow. It’s the willingness of the Republican party to leave their principles behind and support the idea that the only thing that matters is winning, retaining control by any means necessary, including sabotaging the postal service, denying voting rights, closing polling stations, enforcing unrealistic standards on mail-in votes, claiming a constitutional crisis, a shut-down of the government, calling in the troops, and we’ll see what he can come up with tomorrow.

Is this America? The land of the free, home of the brave? Where government of the people, by the people, and for the people is the norm? Liberty and justice for all? Free and fair elections? May the best man win? What happened? When did one candidate demonize another? How did that become acceptable. “Crush the Democrats”? How can anyone claiming to be a patriot believe this is okay? That’s why I’m terrified.

Reading about social awkwardness as a result of being socially isolated: “Extended periods in isolation indicates social skills are like muscles that atrophy from lack of use. People separated from society — by circumstance or by choice — report feeling more socially anxious, impulsive, awkward and intolerant when they come into social situations with others.” I get it.  We, who became adults, especially older adults before the plague know what normal social interaction is like and we miss it, are maybe even becoming depressed for the lack of it. That’s sad for us, but it feels catastrophic for developing brains.

I’m thinking about my grandson entering kindergarten, which opened here in High Springs yesterday. With plastic bubbles around their desks and everyone with masks on. Just picturing it makes me want to cry. Little kids touch each other. They hug. It’s part of their social development–how they become adjusted, socially engaged adults. How we learn to care for one another. I don’t even want to think about how many times a day that poor beleaguered kindergarten teacher will have to say, “Tommy, don’t touch Kevin,”  “Sandra, you can’t hug Maria,” and “Matthew, you can’t hold hands with Keisha.” And what message is that giving to their developing brains? Are they all going to be imprinted with the “Don’t Touch” model? What is the ultimate message? People aren’t to be trusted? I could get sick if I hug my friend? It’s a social science researcher’s dream. It’s my nightmare.