Zan

Am I a freak or do other people have dreams where they can detect certain scents? Because, sometimes I can smell the cologne of the person standing over me. Except, it’s a dream, again, and there is no person. My attacker had worn a distinctive fragrance. As had my grandfather. Old Bay, his was. That scent was never gonna leave my nose.

I was hoping Trevor being home might help with the dreams. If nothing else, I could borrow one or two of his sleeping pills. He always needed to refill his prescription when he got home and usually left that to me.

The coffee maker finished spitting and sputtering, and I poured a cup and started to sort through the mail stacked up on the counter when I heard Olivia’s ring coming from my purse. “Hola, Olivia.”

“You are silly, Zannie,” she said. “That is my line, is it not? Did I wake you? If so, I am sorry, but I wondered how you were doing. It is cold there, too, is it not?”

“You didn’t wake, me. I’m always up early. These monsters want to be fed. It is cold, but my weather report says it’s warmer here than Chicago.”

“Those puppies must have been happy to see you, no? And Trevor? When is he coming home?”

“They were, and Trevor’s home in eight days. And you’re full of questions, Missy. You sound nervous. Not like yourself. What’s going on?”

“In a moment. First I must know if you are still struggling with your decision to tell Trevor—”

I pulled myself up on the kitchen island stool, blew on my coffee to cool it, and felt the knot in my gut tighten. “For the record, I was never struggling. I’m convinced I’m handling it the right way. I appreciate your concern, but you, Mamacita, are trying to wiggle out of answering me. If I remember right, you had a pressing problem, didn’t you? Your sister’s relapse, your niece and nephew coming to live with you? What’s the latest on that?”

Then Olivia spoke up. She sounded alarmed, for her. “Dios Mio. So much more has happened, Zannie. My sister has been arrested—”

“What? For what?”

“Purchasing cocaine. With her arrest, now I must file in court to be allowed to provide emergency residence for her children. I need an attorney, and a decision must be made. In only a few days I will hopefully know more and will be better able to answer your question.”

I got down off the stool and scooped some dry dog food into the three bowls. “How have the kids taken it?”

“That is just it. They don’t know yet. They know only of her relapse, which prompted them to come to me in the first place. Now, I must do this thing in the courthouse to protect them from being removed from my home. I have lied to them, Zan. I have never done that.”

As the dogs crunched away, I wandered into the hall. “You didn’t lie to them, Olivia, you just—”

“It is a lie by omission—to not tell them of their mother’s arrest.”

“You had a good reason, didn’t you? Who would want to be sent off to school with that hanging over their head?”

“But I was taking a risk. There is a small chance they will find out today at school.”

“Oh, I don’t think so. What are the odds that someone would even know that? I mean, wouldn’t that be—”

“This is true, you are right, but I must be assured that Family Services will not be at our home to take them away when they get back from school.”

“Do you need anything from me?” I looked out the side panel of the front door at the bright day, wondering what in God’s name I could do for her.

“Just telling you has helped me. But you? This thing you have been dealing with? It has been … horrible. And you have a husband but have borne the brunt of this trauma all alone. I feel bad for you, Zan. Please do not misunderstand—”

“I know, I know. None of you were actually pressuring me to tell Trevor. You simply think I need his support. There must be something in me that knows that with a normal marriage, it would be the right thing to do, you know?”

“Zan, in my experience, there are no ‘normal’ marriages, not that I have ever—”

“Yeah, I know, and most husbands would’ve noticed my changed behavior, but he’s not ‘most husbands’. I keep wanting to say, ‘I was raped’, just blurt it out, and let the chips fall where they may. But then my logical brain tells me he might—” I leaned against the wall for support.

“Are you afraid he will leave you? That he will not accept this thing?”

“Here’s the thing, Olivia, I’m not sure if he can hear that and still look at me the same, you know?”

“Oh, mi amor, I am so sorry. But you have a therapist, do you not?”

“I do. Mindy. I haven’t seen her in—oh, eight or nine months?” I slid down and sat on the floor.

“Zan, you should call her and make an appointment. She will help you with this. She might advise you to come in with Trevor. What do you think?”

“That makes me nervous as hell, that’s what I think.” The dogs had long since stopped eating, so I stood up and walked back into the kitchen. They were cleaning up the floor around their bowls, tails wagging, ready for whatever was next.

Olivia was still trying to help. “Well, at least you could call her and see her by yourself before he comes, could you not?”

That made perfect sense. “I could. I will. It’s a plan. I love plans.”

“You are making me smile. It feels good.”

“My purpose in life, girlfriend. Thanks.”

“For?”

“Just being you. But listen, Olivia, you keep me up to date on your legal thing, please.”

“Of course. I have arrived at work now and must go.”

“Alright. Take care.”

“Love you.”

She disconnected before I could tell her I loved her too. I did love her—loved all of them in different ways. I wished I hadn’t kept so many secrets from them sometimes, but then when I told them one, look how they jumped on it. All they wanted was for me to take better care of myself. My inner self. I knew that, but it wasn’t something I was used to doing.

I looked around the kitchen. The dogs were lying in a semi-circle in the sun slanting in through the sliders. Aramis, responding to the silence, raised his head to look at me, and the light behind him made a thistledown halo of his soft white fur. Pain stabbed me in the gut, and a sob caught in my throat. Okay, so I’d call Mindy.

Olivia

Mr. Drakos’s car was parked in his place. This was good news, as I hoped to meet with him this morning. I went first to his office where Simone, his assistant, was arranging her desk for the day. After we exchanged pleasantries, I asked her to schedule a meeting with him early as she could. The business I had at the courthouse needed to be soon, if Officer Rivers was correct.

When I arrived at my office, my assistant gave me such a warm greeting that I knew I had been missed. He had opened my office and left a white pastry bag on my desk.

“How about coffee to go with that?” He asked, as he stood.

“You have heard, have you not, that you are not to be bringing me goodies, nor waiting on me.”

“Yeah, I think I heard something about that. Now do you want coffee or not?”

“That would be lovely. And, Matthew?”

“Ma’am?”

“I am expecting a call from Simone in Mr. Drakos’ office. I need to go and see him. If I’m not at my desk when you return—”

“I’ll know where you are.”

He headed in the direction the kitchen. Along the hallway I could hear laughter.

I opened my email and began to attend to it. There were many emails in my primary tab. Those messages needing my immediate answers were easy to resolve. I forwarded several emails to recruiting, several more to benefits and records, and filed the ones that could await my attention.

Matthew returned and delivered my coffee with a sweeping gesture while I was talking on the phone. Our sign language effectively expressed my appreciation and his dismissal of same. Ruby would have called him “cheeky.”

~~~

At 8:45 Simone telephoned to advise me that Mr. Drakos was available to speak with me. He sat behind his lovely, old wood desk that he had used from the beginning. I was happy to see that he looked well and said so.

“Thank you, Olivia. You seem refreshed as well. I hope you enjoyed your time off. Please, take a seat.”

As I sat, I told him that my time away had been most pleasant. I thought about my friends and all their troubles. None of us was without difficult circumstances. This was not how we imagined our lives would go when we were young.

He set his pen down and looked directly at me. “Now then, how can I help you?”

I sat facing him at the edge of a chair much too large for me. “Mr. Drakos, I am afraid I have some sad news.”

He looked concerned. “What is it? Are you alright?”

“Yes, sir, I am fine. It is my sister—she has been arrested. For buying drugs.” I was sure he remembered that time years ago when I first gave him news of her addiction and he had paid for her treatment. I had been with him only two years at that time.

“Oh, no, how terrible,” He said. He stood, came around his desk and sat beside me, reaching for my hand. I placed my hand in his. “I’m terribly sorry, Olivia. This is such bad news.”

As he held my hand warmly in both of his large soft hands, I feared I might cry. “Thank you for your concern, Mr. Drakos. You are correct, this is terrible news—especially for her children, Matias and Mariella. They are with me presently.”

He released my hand and leaned back. “Exactly where they should be. And I’m sure they wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.”

“Yes, this is true. And it is my primary concern. In order to keep them with me, I am required file for an emergency motion this morning so they will not be placed in foster care.”

“I see your need for expediency, Olivia. How can I help?”

“Sir, I am sorry, but I need an attorney for this, and I know of no one. I am pressed for time and would be grateful if you could recommend one for me, one who could do this thing today.”

“Of course—”

“And I will be needing some time away from the office, but it will not be much.” I was speaking much too rapidly but felt I could not stop. “I did not wish to bother you with this, sir. I know you are not comfortable with scandal, and—”

“Olivia, it’s fine. You were right to come to me.” He stood and went back to his seat behind his desk and began to tap on some keys.

“But if people find out—”

“Never mind about that. As I’ve said before, and surely not often enough, I like to think we’re all family here at Drakos. And as such, you have my complete support.”

“That is so kind—”

“Listen here, I’ll contact my good friend Tom Cochrane. He’s in family law and he’ll be happy to help you.”

“Of course I will pay—”

“I’m not worried about that, not for a minute. Tell me, how’s your nephew, Olivia?”

“He is excellent, sir, and he loves his car—”

“Is he a good driver?”

“He is a careful driver, sir.”

“I’m glad.” He nodded his head, and I knew he would not directly mention gifting Matias that car, nor would he want me to do so. When he jotted some words on a pad of paper, that was surely my signal to depart. I stood up, turned to leave, and then turned back. “I am most grateful for your understanding, Mr. Drakos.”

He looked up and gave me a bright and sincere smile. “We’ve been through a lot together, haven’t we? A little over twenty years now, right? You, Olivia, are an integral part of our family here, you know that, I hope. And important to our success.” He looked as if he was remembering our early days of struggle, as was I. His fair treatment of others was a model for every boss everywhere. And then he spoke up, loudly, “Simone?” I jumped, proving how nervous I was.

She came to stand in the open doorway. “Yes, sir?”

“Would you get Tom Cochrane on the line, please?”

“Right away,” she said, and as I left, she was already on the phone.

Before an hour had passed, the attorney Mr. Cochrane called me. He asked me some questions, and I could hear computer keys clicking as I answered them. I told him that I had gathered the children’s birth certificates, and my own, along with my notes about the times they had come to me when my sister had relapsed. There was a pause, and then he said, “Good. That’s good.” Then he agreed to meet me at the courthouse.

~~~

Mr. Cochrane was a tall, white-haired man who was filled with confidence and purpose. He did not falter at any turn, and at 11:20 we filed an ex parte emergency protection order. He told me that what we had done would not keep Family Services from visiting, but it would allow Matias and Mariella to live in my house without interference until the hearing. This would be in three weeks and three days. He assured me he would be here to assist me on that day.

“Have a good rest of your day, Ms. Santana, and stop worrying,” he said, as he dashed down the courthouse steps into the bright morning, clearly at ease in this world so strange to me.

~~~

When I returned from the courthouse, I purchased a sandwich from the small shop on the first floor of the Drakos Building. Although it was cold out, the sun was shining and there was little wind. I buttoned my coat, walked to the park across the street, sat on the bench, and opened my lunch. I took a bite, but I had to place my lunch beside me, for I could not swallow.

I bowed my head and prayed, “Blessed Mother, please help me. This thing that I am doing, it is of enormous consequence, and I need your help. I am afraid to disappoint my abuela by repudiating my sister. Please show me I am doing Your will.”  My heart hurt so, and tears threatened to spill from my eyes. Then, as I reached into my bag for tissues, my phone buzzed in my purse. It was Ruby.

Olivia

Why is it true that when you need things to go well, when you have little energy left for disruption, that is when such trouble strikes? That was how it happened for me after I landed back in Chicago following my three-day getaway with my friends. Much had taken place at home while I was away, and none of these things was I prepared for.

Believing I would be greeted by my niece, nephew, and Mrs. B., I was alarmed to see, as I pulled my car into the driveway, that my headlights shone instead on a stranger—a man. He was dressed professionally with a suit but no overcoat, and a loosened tie. It had grown quite cold, and he was leaning against Mrs. Baumgarten’s car with his hands tucked under his armpits.

The stranger lifted his hand to shade his eyes as he stepped toward me. I was wary and did not turn off my car’s engine, and he seemed to understand my concern. He raised his hands in the air, backed up a step, and said, “I’m sorry, Ms. Santana, I didn’t mean to frighten you.” He removed his wallet and showed me a police badge. “I need a few minutes of your time.” His voice registered a southern tone, he was shivering, and I could see his frosty breath.

My nephew’s car was missing, and it was then that I began to worry. Was this officer here to tell me something about Matias? Was he in trouble? Was he hurt? I pushed the button to allow my window to roll down and felt a blast of cold air. “Is something wrong with my nephew?” I asked.

“No, ma’am, not that I know of. It’s your sister.” He lowered his voice. “She’s alright, but she’s been arrested. My name is Ezekiel Rivers. I’m a detective with Chicago P.D.”

Mrs. Baumgarten stood at the back door with a phone in her hand, so I put my window back up, turned off my motor, and stepped from the car. “Perhaps we should go into the house. First, I need to ask Mrs. Baumgarten where Matias is at this time.” I lifted my bag from beside me in the front seat.

“Of course,” he said. “May I help you with your luggage?”

“I am fine, Mr. –Officer Rivers, thank you.”

As the policeman held the door open for me, I could see a cross on a chain around his neck. I was aware that my friends would tell me this was not proof that he was trustworthy, but it comforted me.

Once inside the warm house, I learned that Matias had notified Mrs. B that he would be late, that he was studying with a classmate. Mariella was in her room having eaten her supper. I could hear my niece’s voice in animated conversation on her phone. Her bedtime was near, but she was safe.

Mrs. Baumgarten was wary but polite to our guest. She looked to me for permission before she spoke. “Would you care for some water or a warm beverage, sir?” She asked.

He declined graciously, even as he shivered. “I appreciate it ma’am.” He spoke with a soft voice. In the light I could see that his clothing was neat, and his face bore scars, I assumed from a severe case of adolescent acne.

She told me reluctantly of my dinner in the oven. “Olivia, I made mac and cheese at the children’s request. It’s still warming in the oven, if you’re hungry…”

“Thank you so much my dear friend. You are so kind to me—”

It was then, with relief, that we heard Matias’s car pulling to the side of the driveway.

In fear, I looked to the officer. “He is sixteen.” I said. “Must you tell him your news just yet?”

“No ma’am, but I will need to talk to you about it.”

“Yes, of course. I understand.”

When Matias entered the house, he hugged me. “I’m glad you’re home safely from your trip,” he said. His cheek was cold. Then, with surprise, he noticed the stranger.

“Matias, this is Mr. Rivers.” I made no further explanation.

The officer stepped forward, and they shook hands.

Quickly Matias remembered his manners. “Nice to meet you, sir.” Then he turned to me. “I’m sorry, Aunt Olivia. I didn’t mean to worry you. I told Mrs. B—”

“It is alright, dear. She told me, and you are here now.” I touched his cold face. “Have you eaten?”

“Yes, Auntie, I had dinner at my friend’s.” In his eyes I could see the lie.

“May I be excused?” Matias said.

I agreed, he nodded to Mr. Rivers, said good-bye to Mrs. Baumgartner, and went to his room with his head down and his backpack hanging from one arm.

I was concerned for my neighbor. “Mrs. B, you must go home to your family now. It is late. I am sorry to keep you.”

She gave Officer Rivers a side glance, and whispered to me, “Are you sure …”

“We will be fine,” I said.

After I heard her car start up, to Mr. Rivers, I said, “It has been a long day—for both of us, I suspect. I am thinking that Mrs. B’s leftover mac and cheese would taste good to me right now, and it will dry out if it is not eaten soon. Are you sure you cannot join me? She always makes more than we can eat.”

“I shouldn’t, but if you’re sure you’ll have enough, I am right fond of macaroni and cheese.”

“You may take off your suit coat, Officer Rivers, if you would be more comfortable.”

“I’m armed, ma’am. I’m on duty and must wear my service weapon. That makes most people nervous. Besides, if your nephew comes back downstairs, well, I’ll leave it on.”

When I served us in my kitchen, he waited for me to sit. Then he bowed his head and said a silent blessing, making the sign of the cross. In my mind I could hear Ruby’s voice, warning me that religious people, even those with good manners, were not always what they seemed. I told her to be silent.

When he took his first bite of Mrs. Baumgarten’s food, he exclaimed, “This is great. What’s different about it?”

“Mrs. B prefers only the best cheeses—several kinds—and heavy cream. It is her secret recipe. The children beg her to make it for them.”

“I can see why. Gosh, this is good.”

He had good manners, but he ate with enthusiasm. I had thought I would be hungry, but his news left me with little appetite. Soon, the officer’s bowl was empty. I started to collect the dishes, but he stood.

“May I?” he asked, reaching his hand for my bowl.

I nodded my assent, and he carried both of our bowls to the sink, ran water in them, and said, “Thank you again, Miss Santana. Awful kind of you.” Then he turned to face me. “Do you want the details now, ma’am?”

“Yes, Officer Rivers, I suppose I do, even though I do not. But let us go into the living room. If we speak softly, it will be more difficult for the children to hear from that room.”

We sat on the sofa. This was frightening for me. I was wishing I had a glass of wine, but I knew that would make a bad impression on the police officer.

“Go ahead.” I said. My voice was calm, but my insides were not.

“Okay, I’m sorry, again, but here’s what happened: your sister was buying drugs from a dealer who was under surveillance, and she got caught up in the bust.” He shifted in his seat and I could hear the squeaking sound of leather. His demeanor was sympathetic, for which I was grateful. “She was in possession of cocaine when she was arrested.”

“So, it is serious, yes?” Tears were forming in my eyes.

“Yes, ma’am. Unlike cannabis, cocaine and heroin offenses are much more so. This is her first arrest, so that’ll play a role in how severe the ultimate consequences will be.”

“And that is a good thing?”

“Well, better than if she was a repeat offender, but still, make no mistake: she’s committed a felony. It’s all on video. I watched it. She ingested some, but still had possession of almost one gram, which makes it a class four felony and a mandatory one-to-three year prison sentence. Possession of more than that could carry a sentence of up to fifteen years, so in some ways she got lucky.”

I was suddenly feeling assured by his words. This terrible thing had happened, but as Margo had said, ‘nobody died’. I had feared this day would come, and now it had, and her children were safe. I took a breath to calm myself.

“Why did she not ask to call me?” I asked.

“I can’t say, ma’am. That’s one reason I’m following up.”

“Why is that?”

“Well, she was entitled to a phone call. She had no I.D. on her and wouldn’t give up her name, but she’d been observed not only exchanging cash for the drugs, but also handing over a laptop.”

“It was the one I gave her?”

“Probably so, ma’am. Because the computer revealed her identity as well as yours. When we advised her of what we knew, she told us you were her sister, but that we should tell Family Services that her kids were here with you because you weren’t their legal guardian.”

“She wanted the authorities to be advised?” I felt shocked at this news. Heat prickled my skin.

“Yes ma’am.” He paused, perhaps waiting for me to absorb what he had said.

“Go ahead.”

“By law, the young’uns should be referred to Family Services, Miss Santana.”

“And that is what my sister wanted for them? That they be taken from me and put into foster care?” I could not disguise my anger, and my hands were shaking.

“It seems so. But you have to realize how impaired she was. I watched her try to snort as much as she could before she was detained. I feel I have to tell you, she made accusations that you were not a citizen, as well.”

“Are you here to verify this?” My voice rose and I had to fight to speak more softly. I was aware that the children were just upstairs.

“No, ma’am, I’m not.” He lowered his voice almost to a whisper. “My background check confirmed your long-time employment with Drakos and that you have no record—”

“I have a copy of my birth certificate—” I started to stand and go to my desk.

He put up his hand. “That’s not my job, Miss Santana. Besides, I believe you. Please don’t concern yourself. Nobody listens to accusations bein’ made by an impaired person at a time like that. When she’s right in the head, she may have a totally different story. She may even forget what she said. Or she might be sorry as can be. But either way, I felt an obligation to let you know.”

“I thank you for that, sir. My sister—my half-sister—well, we have experienced her relapses several times. Her children have their own rooms in my home and have lived with me and especially with my grandmother when she was alive—” I could not finish. My voice was quavering with outrage at my sister’s betrayal as well as grief over the loss of my abuela. I did not want to cry in front of this man.

Zeke Rivers began, “I’m sorry—”

I took a breath. “Please, I must explain. We have all been through so much with my sister. So many irresponsible behaviors. But lately she seemed better. It had been over two years—since—” I paused to gather my thoughts. “And now she has been arrested—finally. And she has said these terrible things … ” My voice had lowered, lest I find myself shrieking at this unfair treatment from her. How could she? Knowing her children might be taken away. It defied logic.

He leaned forward. “Like I said, I believe you, ma’am. Your record is squeaky clean, you seem like a nice lady, and I saw you with your nephew. It looks to me like these children are lucky to have you to watch out for ‘em. I’m used to—well something else, and I’ve observed that this family is based on caring and respect. I’m not here to judge.”

I looked into the man’s sad brown eyes. “What will happen now?”

“Well, Miss Santana, I can delay, a little, reporting that I located you. That’ll give you time to petition the courts for an ex parte emergency protection order. Should you write it down?”

“That is not necessary.” It was imprinted on my consciousness.

“I meant no disrespect—”

“None was taken. Please go on.”

“You should do it tomorrow. Probably first thing. Call your attorney right away. My shift is not until evening, but I can’t delay my report longer than tomorrow around four o’clock. Get your attorney to file that emergency protection order. Just the filing alone will keep Family Services from taking action. They’ll make an appointment with you, that is if they’re not swamped, and they could be, but they won’t have the authority to remove the kids if you’ve done all that.”

“I will take care of these things in the morning.” Just how I was going to find an attorney on that short notice, I did not know. I thought of Mr. Drakos and his attorneys. Perhaps he could help.

“Again,” he said, standing, “I’m sorry you’re havin’ to go through this.”

I walked onto the porch with him. How Abuela would have hated this. “Officer, I must tell you this. Our home has been a refuge for my sister’s children since they were small. My abuela was their caretaker and an important part of their lives from their infancy until two years ago when she died. She never allowed me to report my sister’s relapses to the police, lest the authorities take the children. They have a home here—one they have come to many times.”

“That must be tough.”

“It is no burden, Mr. Rivers. Please do not misunderstand me. I love my niece and nephew. And I love having them here. But it is not fair to them, this disruption in their lives.”

“Well, their mom might make it. Sometimes jail’s a wake-up call. And there’s treatment in prison. Don’t give up hope.”

“It is for her children that I reserve my hope at this moment. Perhaps, with enough prayer, the Blessed Mother will show me how to be more charitable toward Isabella.”

He handed me a business card. “Let me know if I can iron out any wrinkles for you, Miss Santana. The court system can be a maze, and legal language sounds like gobblygook sometimes. I’m getting’ better at it, since I’ve been going to law school online for a few years now. I may even graduate someday. Anyway, call me if I can help, okay?”

~~~

Upstairs, I knocked on Matias’s door softly.

He called out, “Yes? What is it?” I could hear the tears in his voice.

“I need to speak to you, dear.”

He opened the door and turned his back to me, looking at the floor. His room was tidy, as always.

“Matias, mi sobrino, I know you were not studying at a friend’s house tonight. Will you please tell me where you were?”

He turned to look at me. His dark eyes were wary. I could see him wanting to tell an untruth, knowing he could not. “I went home,” he said finally. “I wanted to see my mother—to find her sober and well. To know she was okay.” He took a deep shaky breath. “That isn’t what I found.”

“What did you find, darling?”

“A dark, empty house. A broken slider. No mother. No furniture even. Nothing.” He looked at me then and his eyes filled with tears. “And a notice from the bank tacked to the front door.”

I reached out to him and he allowed me to hold him as he cried. Finally, he stopped and wiped his eyes with the palms of his hands.

“I’m sorry—”

“No, it is I who is sorry you had to see this. And I am sorry for all the sorrow you have felt, my child. None of this did you deserve.”

“Thank you, Aunt Olivia. You—if we didn’t have you—”

“Listen, mi amor, of course you have me. You will always. I love you. You know this, do you not?” He nodded, and I went on, “Tomorrow we must all talk, you and your sister and me. But now, tonight, you need to rest. Are you hungry?”

He shrugged. “I’m not.”

“Then you can sleep, yes? It is late.”

He nodded again, and I started to leave his room. He stopped me. “Aunt Olivia?”

“Yes, Matias?”

“That man who was here—” he paused, and a smile crept across his tear-streaked face. It was a welcome sight to me, but I felt fearful. If he were to ask who the officer was, what would I say? “I think he likes you,” he said.

I was relieved this was the direction the conversation was taking, for it was fantasy on his part. “How could you tell that?”

“Just the way he looked at you, I guess. Have you got a boyfriend, Auntie?”

“No, I do not, silly boy. Go to bed now. Goodnight.”

Across the hall from my nephew’s room, I looked in on Mariella who was sleeping with her phone on her chest. I removed it and placed it on her nightstand. She had decorated her room with photographs of celebrities I had no knowledge of and had painted one of her walls a purple color so dark it looked black. Her night light cast stars on her ceiling, and it hummed as it turned.

I closed her door softly, stood in the hall, and leaned against the wall feeling the enormity of this day. Much had happened, much to deal with. I could not keep this terrible thing from Matias and Mariella. But first I had to arrange for them to be secure in this home.

Tomorrow I would seek Mr. Drakos’s advice about an attorney. I missed my abuela’s wisdom. She often said that God places people in our path who can help us. I was wondering about this Officer Rivers. Was he a person that God had sent?

~~~

The next morning the children were already in the kitchen. Matias had made Cuban coffee, something I needed desperately.

“Good morning mi familia.”

Mariella squealed and hugged me warmly. “I’m so glad you’re back, Aunt Olivia. I like Mrs. B fine. She was great, but she’s not you.” Her words touched me.

“I am pleased to be back, as well, and also happy to see you, my darling. And Matias, I am glad that Abuela taught you how to make perfect café Cubano. This morning you are saving my life with this elixir of the Gods.”

Matias smiled and said, “You’re welcome, Aunt Olivia. I’m glad, too, since it’s saving my life, as well.” He held up his thermal coffee container. I could see the dark circles under his eyes but also some new resolve reflected there.

“You’re going to work early today, aren’t you?” Mariella said. “And you’re dressed super nice.”

“She’s always dressed nice,” Matias said, as he spread peanut butter on his and his sister’s English muffins and handed one half to her. “But it’s earlier than usual, isn’t it, Aunt Olivia?” Matias asked.

“It is. My role grows more demanding as the company expands. My time off probably set me behind. And, lately I have been given the responsibility for ‘cultural and gender sensitivity’. There is a difficult issue to resolve today.” I retrieved some fruit and yoghurt from the refrigerator keeping my face averted. I had not told a lie about my work, but this was not the reason I was leaving the house early. Their mother’s actions were.

To Mariella I said, “Last night I could hear that you were speaking on your phone, helping a friend? I wished not to interrupt you to say goodnight.”

Mariella, licking the peanut butter off her fingers, said, “That was my bestie, Julie. Her boyfriend kissed another girl, a friend of hers, so she broke up with him. She’s not sure she did the right thing now because he begged her to forgive him, and he said that girl kissed him, not the other way around, and—”

“Earth to Mariella.” Matias had gathered his books and was tapping his wrist where a watch would be if he wore such a thing. My niece sighed and looked to me for help. “What do you think she should do, Auntie?”

“Well, without knowing more—”

“Mare,” Matias said, “I’m out the door. The bus is leaving.”

“Just a minute, Matias, Jeez.”

“Mariella, I am afraid your brother is waiting for you to go to school. You should not be late. Remember to take your jacket and gloves. We can continue this conversation tonight over dinner. I will be happy to catch up with both of you. We will go out. Cafecito.”

“Great.” Matias said. It was his favorite.

“O-kay,” Mariella said. “But with Julie, it will probably be something else by tonight.”

“Then you can tell me about that, can you not?”

“Definitely,” she said.

I was relieved that neither of them had asked about their mother, but my heart was heavy with the guilt I felt at having kept this secret from them.